Wednesday, March 6, 2013

It Boils Down to Faith and Repentence

Testimony written by Elder Stewart Insch shortly before his mission.

I have experienced the influence of my Heavenly Father and my Savior in my life and have found that when I am doing the things that I am supposed to be doing, I am happier and my life is easier.  I compare this to the people I see around me, friends, family, strangers, and the things they do to try and find happiness without success.  It breaks my heart to see how miserable others are because of their choices.  I have felt the power of the Atonement in my life, and the blessing of the Spirit and I know that if other people were to take advantage of these gifts that have been given to us, they could find the true happiness that they seek.

My dad taught me something that I always try to keep in mind when it comes to the Gospel.  What he said is that everything basically boils down to two principles, faith and repentance.  Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in all sorts of intricacies of scripture and doctrine and forget why it all matters.  Through faith and repentance, we can keep the commandments and allow the Spirit to guide us in our lives, as well as make up for our shortcomings.

My choice to serve a mission has been an important milestone in my life.  When I was nineteen I put in my papers under the pressure and influence of my parents and church leaders, and felt really wrong about it.  I felt like if I were to go, it would only have been through coercion and out of obligation and not out of my own desire to serve the Lord.  My testimony at the time was relatively weak, and I had a lot of doubts.  After time, I resolved these issues but didn’t really think much about serving a mission again.  I drifted through life, having fun, but feeling no major direction that my life was headed in.  I’ll freely admit that what caused me to redirect my thinking was a girl.

After transferring to BYU, I met a young lady and fell madly in love with her.  As things with her got more serious I started to focus more on my life to that point, as well as where it was headed.  This young woman loved me for who I was, regardless of the fact that I wasn’t a returned missionary.  This knowledge let me be free to reevaluate my choice not to serve a mission.  I thought about the man I was, and the man that I wanted to be and I thought of my father.  I want to be just like my father, and he always said that a mission saved his life and played the biggest role in how he became.  I started thinking it over again, praying and fasting, and I felt like I really should serve a mission.  I felt good about my decision, but I worried how this young woman would react, thinking that it would effectively bring about the end of our relationship.  But once I told her she was excited, and nothing but supportive of my decision.

I feel much better now than I did when I was nineteen.  Even though I was spurred to reconsider a mission, thanks to my involvement with this young woman, I was making the decision on my own, between me and the Lord.  I know that this is what the Lord needs and expects of me at this point in my life.  I am excited to be serving, and feel that this positive attitude and desire will be a great benefit to me in doing the Lord’s work with a glad heart, rather than grudgingly out of obligation.

The only thing that I was nervous about concerning a mission is where I was going to go.  People were constantly asking me where I wanted to go, and I didn’t know.  The one thing I really wanted was to go foreign, since I have always wanted to visit somewhere else in the world and learn a new language.  However, I was truly content to go wherever I was needed.  When I got my mission call and read Japan Nagoya Mission, I was filled with peace.  I had never imagined going to Japan, or any Asian mission, but I knew right away that this was where I needed to be. 

PS:  Elder Insch is now married….to that special young woman he knew before his mission.

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